I am a baby boomer and I have written a memoir. Instead of dismissing what I have to say with that internet catch phrase, I believe all readers will discover hope and determination, and a laugh or two, on its pages.

Alas, my appeal is battled by that OK Boomer dig and also by the hilarious, yet aging-disparaging, Progressive Insurance commercials about how not to become your parents by avoiding: holding onto crown molding, being overly talkative about the weather, sporting a KISS THE COOK apron at summer BBQs, and possessing too many throw pillows. Nevertheless, I persist.

In writing my memoir about growing up in the post WWII era of the 1950s and 1960s with a severely mentally ill PTSD Navy vet Dad, who died a headline grabbing death in 1980 consumed in the torment of flashbacks, I take the reader into our chaotic home and out the backdoor to peace and contentment. There is also surprise redemption.

There are many resources to help you write a memoir. These are some of the skills I honed:

RESEARCH: Through the Freedom of Information Act I finally uncovered what happened to Dad during the war. That led me to the navy base where it happened. That led to recognition by the base commander.

HISTORY BACKDROP INCLUDED: Other than having the best music of any generation (OK Boomer!), we lived a lot of history and pop culture: the assassinations of the Martin Luther King and the Kennedy’s (I saw both John and Bobby speak in person), The Beatles on Ed Sullivan, Woodstock, the Manson murders, and Kent State.

FAMILY OPINIONS: Anyone who writes about their families knows about this high wire act. Musician/actor Steve Van Zandt posted on social media about his new memoir. I responded asking him for any advice he had for my memoir. He posted back, “Tell the truth … as much as you can.”

REVISION: Hemingway said writing is revision. I revised my manuscript repeatedly over four years. I had the assist of a narrative specialist, Liz Hopkin. She kept guiding me toward the actual story like a star over Bethlehem. After the story was in place she became my eagle-eyed editor.

DEPORTMENT: I went to Catholic School and the nuns were big on “deportment,” that is presenting ourselves to others. Not everyone sees their teaching nuns as lifelines. I did.  They hold a place in my telling. The first round of printing my book lacked deportment. It did not look good at all, cover and layout included. In came the cavalry, Sara T. Sauers, who freelance book designs for the University of Iowa. She wrangled that cover and design into a thing of beauty. My dad garners a photo credit for the cover posthumously.

PUBLICITY: Even beyond my multitudes of potential customer relatives, learning the ways of social media and using it regularly to sell books is an essential ingredient to marketing a book. I will also be doing talks and book clubs. An author of these times has to tell the story on the page and to the public.

Yes, mine is a Baby Boomer tale but it is a universal story, as well, about overcoming trauma and shame, and achieving my dreams. There still are “children of war,” with parents coming home from battles abroad.

As the kids have been saying recently on Tik Tok, ‘in da clurb, we all be fam.’ And, you still have to kiss the cook.

Note: This blog originally appeared on the University of Dayton website.